What If Edgar Davids Was James Bond?

Without doubt the greatest ever football advert in the world

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=luIt-BadfqA&feature=related

Enjoy!

And I Thought Hell Was As Worse As It Could Get!

A while back i compared that poo box that is the Nissan Cube to Hell on earth, well it seems that The Nissan Cube has a partner in its Satanic quest to ruin the motor world and its called...wait for it...the G-Wiz

http://www.goingreen.co.uk/xs_i/G-Wiz%20angled.small.jpg

First of all why does it have the name that would be more suited to a cheesy CBBC Science programe? Its as stupid as going to sleep on a lit Gas Stove...Painfull as well!

Second point...Who does it look like it has been designed by a four year old who has been blindfolded? It for some reason has as many lines as Keith Richards and looks worse then the 100000000 year old Guitar player. Why does it also have a massive dent at the bottom of the door? This is in fact clever as somebody (could be me!) would kick it anyway and so they have avoided the "Well my G-Wiz doesnt have a dent in the door"...which i think unites all G-Wiz drivers in a strange and slightly twisted way.

The G-Wiz is also i believe eco-friendly, which i suppose is a good thing but it would help if it didnt look so stupid...actually its like Bono on wheels!

The Nissan Cube is still by far the worst looking car in the world but the G-Wiz is not far behind. Look at it like this...the Cube is Satan and The G-Wiz is Abaddon.

Tottenham Rant

Another Football Blog today and guess what...its on Tottenham!

Now it is obvious if you read my blog that i am a massive Tottenham Hotspur fan and despite playing like a bunch of enviromentists for the majority of our games this season...i belive that a cure is not far away.

The biggest issue is our director of football Mr Damien Comolli. When our ex manager Martin Jol asked for a striker, a midfielder and a defender to improve the squad, Mr Comolli came back with Darren Bent, Younes Kaboul and Kevin Prince Boateng...I mean come on! I could have done better then that! Mr Comolli also managed to let Sergio Garcia and Diego Milito slip through are fingers on the final day of the market, which would have helped are striker issues.

Another is our captain. Ledley King is a great leader, player and capatin but with his knee problem can not play every game. Now why not just give the capatin armband to Jonathan Woodgate? He is a defender, can see the whole team playing and is not short of ambition! Also remove it from Jenas...He has one good game in five games, which is not good!

Sorry for yet another Tottenham rant but it is getting to a point were something needs to be done...and quickly!

Its Not Going To Happen!!!

This goes out to everyone who thinks it is funny that Tottenham Hotspur are bottom of the league...

WE ARE NOT GOING TO BE RELEGATED!!!

How to waste some time?

If you go through a list of jobs it is obvious that different positions are meant for certian people. For example Doctors are normaly caring people, Authors are creative types who drink lots of coffee and are usualy nothing like what you think they will be like and Orthodontists are Dentists but with the need to make your life hell!

Now in a typical Rock Band (Singer, Lead Guitarist, Rhythm Guitarist, Bass Player, Drummer and Keyboardist) you often get lots of personalities. Tommy Lee, Nikky Sixx and Vince Neil are examples and they are all from one band! But what makes the ultimate Singer or the Defenitive Keyboardist? Well i think i have worked it out.

So here it goes starting with the front man, the Singer. Now often the Singer tends to have the biggest ego of the band, David Lee Roth (Van Halen) has an ego about the size of America and also talks a load of crap, which lead singers also tend to do! Annoyingly they also tend to be the 'good looking' ones and are often the ones who the girls all fancy.

Next the Lead Guitarist. The man who can single-handedly melt the face of a 14 year old boy, needs to be an icon. Take Slash (Guns N' Roses, VR) everyone will at least know the name and more often then not will be able to say that he wears a top hat whilst he plays. Often the Lead Guitarist has an ego "I'm the best damn guitar player ever" but also needs to have the abilty to fall out with everyone who questions his skills.

Alongside the Lead is the Rhythm Guitarist. I get the impression that they tend to be the nice guys, the one's that if you were a girl could take home to see your parents and they would except him for who he is. They dont always have the same amout of skill as the lead but that doesnt bother them, as they are just happy playing music and being in a Band.

Next up the Bassist. Bassists can be rather unfashionable for example John Deacon (Queen), but can also be very cool for example Steve Harris (Iron Maiden). Both often wore/wear shorts on stage...I reackon only a Bassist could pull that off!

The Keyboardist or should i say the Oxbridge graduate is often the more intelligent one of the band. The late Rick Wright (Pink Floyd) and Rick Wakeman both studied at University.

So what is left? Ah yes the Drummer. Often at the end of jokes (What is the last thing a Drummer says in a band?...Why dont we try one of my songs!, What do you call a Drummer who has just split with his Girlfriend?...Homeless!) and is often very annoying Lars Ulrich (Metalica). Also no one cares what they look like because often they can not be seen!

So there you go, a step by step guide at who should be in a band!

Seriously Just Grow Up!

* Warning some language may offend some people of a narrow minded nature

Driving through the country with my Dad today and not once but twice came across prime examples of Fly-Tipping.

Now if you dont know what this is, it is a "British term for illegally dumping waste somewhere other than an authorised landfill. It is the illegal deposit of any waste onto land, i.e., waste dumped or tipped on a site with no licence to accept waste".

Now i mean what the F.C.U.K! Why the Hell does anyone think it is a good or a clever idea to dump waste/rubbish/general crap in something that for one does not belong to them, two is extremly beautiful and three even if they won the lottery a million times would not be able to buy.

The Countryside is priceless. It is what stops are every growing country from becoming one massive conurbation. The Countryside is a beautiful thing and without it the world would be a lesser place!

Now for F.C.U.K sake if you Fly-Tip grow up and get a life. The Countryside is worth a Damn lot more then you do!

Not Long To Go!

After 16 races Lewis Hamilton and Felipe Massa are split by only 5 points, and with only two more races to go the World Championship is well and truly up for grabs!

Obviously i want Lewis Hamilton to win and not that annoying little Brazilian (not that i have anything againt Brazilians...Rubens Barrichello is one of my favourite drivers), But after last weekends Grand Prix and the Fuji Speedway it seems as if Hamilton is getting nervous.

Starting from Pole and with Kimi Raikkonen along side him at the front of the grid (Raikkonen who is not in the championship fight), Hamilton mucked up the start and then locked his brakes meaning himself, Raikkonen, Massa and other drivers had to take to the grass, a risk he did not need to take was made worse when he and Massa collided at a chicane (for which Massa was to blame and correctly got a penality) which meant Hamilton lost more time, got a penalty for the first corner problems and also had to pit for repairs.

Which leaves me with a question...Is Lewis Hamilton meant to win the 2008 Championship? last year with two races to go, Hamilton had a 17 point lead over Kimi Raikkonen and lost the championship and this year it seems as if he is trying to lose it, for example...

• Crashing into Fernando Alonso in the Bahrain Grand Prix


• Crashing into Kimi Raikkonen in the Canadian Grand Prix


• Mad tyre choice during Italian Grand Prix qualifying


• Losing his head at the start of the Japanese Grand Prix

He has also not been helped by the stewards (Think Referees) giving him a number of penaltys for...

• Blocking a faster car in Malaysia


• Crashing into Raikkonen


• Cutting a corner in the French Grand Prix


• Cutting a corner in the Belgian Grand Prix (Something that was really not deserving of a penalty)

When you look at the list of Formula One champions they are all great drivers, and i mean great drivers. People like Michael Schumacher, Ayton Senna, Damon Hill. There are many good drivers who have not won the Championship for one reason...they are not great they are good. Now im not being rude but that is the truth. And the reason i am saying this?

Lewis Hamilton is a great...Felipe Massa is not.

Come on Lewis end twelve seasons of hurt and put England on top of Formula One!

Lets Stick Together!

I know this will hurt for all Tottenham fans out there and it hurts me to write this but these are the facts.

• We have yet to win a game this season


• We have a team that has yet to gel


• In the games we have scored in, we have only scored one


• Darren Bent is not a good replacment for Dimitar Bebatov and Robbie Keane


• We sit bottom of the League


• We have had our worst start to a season since the same year the Titanic sank...1912!

Now this is obviously the worst thing ever for us Spurs fans but even though i was close throwing all my toys out of my metaphorical Pram after our defeat to Hull (I mean c'mon they have a Tiger on the badge!) but this does not mean i have given up on our club!

Juande Ramos is a brilliant manager and obviously knows a thing about Football after some very good buys during the Transfer Market. Ok players like Luca Modric, David Bently, Roman Palvachenko have yet to hit form but i believe given time we will begin to show the real Tottenham Hotspur, The Tottenham Hotspur that was almost scoring 2-3 goals per match last season and the Tottenham Hotspur that so brilliantly beat Chelski to the Carling Cup!

This is not a time to start pointing fingers, ok Roman Pavlachenko has a silly hard to spell name and we have a manager who still cant talk to Match Of The Day because he is not comfortable with English but if we really support our team then we have to stick together and have faith in our team!

And as for those fans who awfuly abused Sol Campbell with taunts in our match at Portsmouth i really hope you all get banned from comming to a Tottenham game because that is not what supporting a team is about!

C'Mon You Spurs!!!

Game Review : Fifa 09

For once i feel the need to post something that is not a rant! Although i could go on and on about Spurs awful start to the season but i wont, talking about Football though...

This morning i purchased Fifa 09, the latest in the long line of Fifa Football Games from EA Sports and first impressions is that it is a improvment on Fifa 08, not a massive one but still an improvment.

The biggest improvments are in the match play. Players that are weaker will be knocked off the Ball quicker and Shots and Goals are more realistic. The Ref is a bit suspect (When are they not) and in a game i played earlier with a mate, he did some outrageous challanges and the Ref who was more likely busy checking out the Girls in the stadium did nothing about it!

The Music is annoying but a few good tunes such as The Kooks 'Always Where I Need To Be' and Duffy's 'Mercy'.

Obviously all the massive changes are left for those lucky enough to have a Next-Gen console but followers of the Fifa range will be happy with Fifa 09...I am!

Another pleasing feature is the fact that Spurs have £31 to spend...Bring it on!!!